It's just cancer...

Good thoughts and advice

2008-08-21T10:06:00.002-04:00

Just didn't want to loose these thoughts....

Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
Try to make at least three people smile each day.
Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or t things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
Forgive everyone for everything.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
GOD heals everything.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

WOW - 2 Years!

2008-08-21T09:43:00.003-04:00

So - clearly I am a SLACKER and haven't posted in almost a year. I think that is a really good sign b/c I have been out there LIVING and not having much time to reflect on it. I just passed my 2 year transplant anniversary on 08/04/08! I went to Hawaii to celebrate! I really can't believe that it has been that long. Life is GREAT I can't complain! Everything is just falling into place - including falling in LOVE!

Light the Night with LLS

2007-10-01T19:18:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends!

As you know Kristen and I are dedicated to helping support those fighting cancer and have rallied behind the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. We would like you to consider joining us at their annual event LIGHT THE NIGHT.
This year LIGHT THE NIGHT will be held at Centennial Olympic Park on Saturday, October 13th at 7:30pm. This event is sponsored by Leukemia Lymphoma Society to help raise money and awareness for blood related cancers. The Society funds lifesaving cancer research that has contributed to major advances in the treatment of blood cancers and many other types of cancer treatments such as chemotherapy and stem cell transplants that have prolonged and enhanced the lives of patients. New targeted therapies that kill cancer cells without harming normal tissue have already begun to provide drugs and procedures that are improving quality of life.

But more research is critically needed:

§ Every five minutes someone is diagnosed with blood cancer.
§ Every ten minutes, someone dies.
§ Leukemia causes more deaths among children than any other cancer
§ More than 20,000 Americans died from lymphoma in 2006
§ The survival rate for myeloma is just 33 per cent

Kristen and I have formed a team and would love for you to walk with us. CLICK on this link for more details and to join our team http://www.active.com/donate/ltnAtlant/mcclainsisters

Thanks!
Rebecca and Kristen

Harvard makes innovations in Hodkin's research

2007-08-06T13:03:00.000-04:00

Innovations in Hodgkin's Lymphoma research -

http://www.boston.com/yourlife/health/blog/2007/07/harvard_researc_1.html

1 Year Since Transplant - ALL CLEAR

2007-08-04T10:34:00.000-04:00

So - I had my one year check up and everything is still CLEAR! I can't believe it has been year since the transplant - life has changed so much. I have never been happier. I have a great boyfriend, a loving family and amazing friends. The journey of life is such an adventure - I am blessed to be on it!

2 Years ago TODAY

2007-06-28T13:36:00.000-04:00

So - 2 years ago today June 28, 2007 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Life has changed so much since then. I am just so thankful that to be here today and for all the friends and family that have supported me throughout the process.

Life is short - ENJOY

Team in Training

2007-05-23T12:10:00.000-04:00

Thought it was time for me to check in and say What up! Things are great. Just got back from Europe (Prague, Budapest and Vienna) Headed to Barbados for the big 30 this weekend! Can't wait. Also - wanted to send a picture of me at the ING Marathon here in Atlanta. As many of you know I was the Honored Hero for the Team In Training group. It was such an amazing experience. I was able to speak on behalf of lymphoma patients and surviors everywhere and share our story. It was very powerful and rewarding. Here is a pic of me on race day. And yes that is the marathon shirt I am wearing (same at the runners) and yes I wear it regularaly so that people think I ran a marathon....

9 month checkup - ALL CLEAR

2007-05-17T12:00:00.000-04:00

Just had to share the good news...I had my 9 month PET/CT this week and found out today - I am STILL CANCER FREE! I can't even express how amazing it feels to hear someone say - ALL CLEAR. I am feeling great, blessed and grateful.

2 articles worth the read....

2007-04-05T18:21:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone!
So I know 2 things in one day is a lot from me but I HAD to forward this on. Yesterday while walking through the airport I picked up this weeks issue of Newsweek which had a cover of story of HOW I LIVE WITH CANCER. Don’t worry I am not trying to pretend I read this every week, clearly the cover story caught my eye. As I was reading the article in the airport I can’t lie, tears came to my eyes at this amazing articulation of what it feels like to be a cancer patient from diagnosis on. I swear it felt like someone (in this case a middle aged man) crawled inside my head and wrote down everything I have ever wanted to be able to explain. I am not sure why, but I always go with my gut which told me I should pass this article on to you. Maybe you have someone in your life who would benefit from reading this as well. It is worth the read so I hope you have the time. In addition, there is a small article by Lance Armstrong which I think is worth the read as well talking about funding cancer research.

‘My Life with Cancer’ by Jonathan Alter
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17888476/site/newsweek/from/ET/

'We Have to Be Ruthless' by Lance Armstrong
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17888477/site/newsweek/from/ET/

Enjoy the article…sorry I tried to scan the actual article and attach but it was beyond me so just deal with the online ads!

Have a Happy Easter

Great T-shirt....F**K CANCER!

2007-04-05T12:00:00.000-04:00

Thought this was worth passing along to those of you who share my sense of humor!

I just so happens as I was at the ING marathon last week and I met the guy in the story below who was running in honor of his mother–in –law. In addition, Jill who sent the email below is a friend of mine and is the director of the CURE Childhood Cancer organization who will be receiving 10% of the proceeds made on the sale of these shirts for April, May and June. I hope you guys will all place an order to help support Jill and her organization in just as an added bonus – give the big finger to cancer!

----- Original Message -----
From: Jill jill@curechildhoodcancer.org
To: Jill @ home jillgeorge@bellsouth.net
Sent: Tue Apr 03 12:50:14 2007
Subject: cancerfreetees

Dear All,On the side of the inaugural ING Marathon and ½ Marathon, a great t-shirtcaught my eye and then I realized I went to high school with the guy wearingit. So on the side of the 10 mile marker, we started talking about at-shirt line he and his wife started in honor of her mother. I will warnyou; this shirt is not for everyone. Although we may all feel this wayabout cancer, it is quite expressive! I’m sending it on to several people,but a select group - it may be a shirt you will wear, give as a gift orforward on for someone else to buy. In addition, the company donates 10% of each purchase to a differentcancer-related organization each quarter and has selected CURE ChildhoodCancer for April, May and June.Please go to www.cancerfreetees.com <http://www.cancerfreetees.com/> toplace your order. But remember, be prepared, this t-shirt has a strongvoice.

Jill George
Director, Patient & Family Services
CURE Childhood Cancer
1835 Savoy Drive, Suite 317
Atlanta, GA 30341-1000
770-986-0035
800-443-CURE (2873)
770-986-0038 FAX
<http://www.curechildhoodcancer.org> www.curechildhoodcancer.org

Advocate for the Luekemia Lymphoma Society

2007-03-27T13:18:00.000-04:00

If you are not already and ADVOCATE for the Luekemia Lymphoma society. Please sign up today!

Friends and Family –

It would be great if you would sign up as an Advocate for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Cancer research funding is being cut left and right and we can help make a difference. By signing up as an advocate you will only receive a call to action when federal legislation is being considered related to cancers. These ‘calls to action’ are very simple and once you sign up only take seconds to send an email to your elected officials regarding the legislation. It is very simple!

1. Click HERE
2. Click on the link(s) in the ACTION CENTER related to the legislation you would like to support
3. It will ask you to register if you are a first time advocate – fill in your information. If you are returning it will ask for your email address only.
4. An email will automatically be sent to your elected officials.

You will only receive an email when there is legislation that is being considered – so it may be very rarely.

ING Marathon - Team in Training Speech

2007-03-24T11:04:00.000-04:00

So - I was asked to speak at the TNT pasta dinner for all the runners the night before the first ING Marathon here in Atlanta. I just wanted to post the notes for my speech so I wouldn't ever lose them. It went really well. There was about 150 people there.

SPEECH

So the pressure is on to say the most inspirational thing ever and as I sat down to think about what to say tonight, I thought to myself what would inspire me the night before I was going to run a marathon? I have to tell you – the pickings were slim. But then I remembered hearing a speech by one of your fellow team in training runners. He told the story of his first marathon and how he wrote down the names of 26 people to help him inspire during each mile. During each mile he would pull out this tiny piece of paper and kept that person in his heart and prayers during that mile. He said that it was what kept him going and as he just ran his 6th marathon last year he continues to carry this paper with him. The names are constantly changing but the prayers stay the same.

So I started thinking who I would run for and I decided that I would share a few of the people on my list with you.

For the parents who watch their children as they struggle through this disease and do their best to explain how this pain will help heal them in the end.

My friend Sandra who is 25. As she began her first job out of college and before her insurance kicked in she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s and then relapsed. The support and help she gets from LLS is invaluable.

My friend Shawn who is 38. He was my transplant buddy who battled and won the fight with Hodgkin’s twice.
For Justin who lost his finance, had his own battle with cancer and still talks about how beautiful and blue her eyes were.

For the nurses and doctors who are truly angels on earth guiding us through hell to help heal our bodies.

My friend Courtney who at 24 has a very rare cancer and wasn’t given much hope but wakes up everyday believing there are more ahead – and knowing she is right.

My friend Carla, mother of 2, wife and school teacher who fought the battle with lymphoma twice.

My friend Jamie, from middle school who I ran into a the honored hero’s party a few weeks ago only to find out she is this season’s honored hero for the San Diego marathon who was diagnosed 4 months after me with the same cancer.

For the mom’s and dad’s who still have a job to do once their chemo drip stops and they go home.

My friend Lynda. Who wore the most fabulous wig possible to her daughters wedding and whose husband sat by her side everyday and supported the woman he loved for over 30 years while she won her battle with lymphoma.

My friend Bill who made me smile during my first week of chemo and has kept me smiling since – who was given 2 years but so far has taken 3.
My grandfather who was diagnosed recently and throughout treatment continues to show me everyday what it means to have faith.

My sister Kristen who walked into high school without any hair but is walking here 9 years later stronger and more beautiful than anyone I know.

Finally I would run for you – the people who devote their time, energy, money and hearts to help raise money to find a cure for this disease.

So tomorrow when you ‘hit the wall’ remember who YOU are running for and know that in their hearts there are no words powerful enough to thank you for the sacrifices you are making and that at each mile we are running with you.

The Hidden Blessings

2007-03-22T10:00:00.000-04:00

So - CANCER SUCKS - we know that. But there are many hidden blessings that you recieve when something like Cancer happens to you. I can name countless things that are better in my life becuase of this experience. Don't get my wrong - I would'nt wish it on anyone but for me it was a journey that opened up so much in my life that I am thankful for.

One of those things is friendship. For the first time I have developed an amazing friendship with my little sister. In addition I have become friends with my mid-level who helped save my life during my transplant. We just got back from a trip to Europe (Prague, Budapest and Vienna) it was amazing...check us out!

I guess I just hope that if you are struggling through Cancer or some other horrible experience that you are able to take time and look at the good things you have learned or people you have discovered through your experience.

YACS - Young Adult Cancer Survivors

2007-02-28T12:58:00.000-05:00

So while I was sick there was no place to go to meet other young (or younger) patients. Now in Atlanta there is a group. It is called YACS! We all meet for the first time the other day and it was GREAT! If you are in the Atlanta area and between the ages of 20 and 40 please feel free to join us. To join the mailing list email yacsatlanta@gmail.com.
Hope to see you there!!!

First Checkup...ALL GOOD

2007-02-10T12:55:00.000-05:00

I had my first set of CT/PET checkup scans since all treatment has been completed on 02/07/07 and ALL CLEAR. The relieft is overwhelming. I can't begin to describe how great it feels. I had a friend ask..."ok so now what?"...I had to laugh b/c now we wait 3 months and do this again!!!!!!!
I hope it gets easier each time - b/c honestly I don't function as a normal human while waiting for the results.

Day 119

2006-12-01T10:06:00.000-05:00

Today has been 119 days since my transplant and I am feeling great. I have decided to have some radiation just to make sure everything is gone for good. I will begin radiation next week and should recieve my last treatment on January 1st. 2007. What a way to kick off the new year.

ALL CLEAR!!!

2006-11-10T12:23:00.000-05:00

Today is day 98!
I had my first set of scans on Monday and the PET scans showed no activity! GOOD NEWS. The CT scan still shows a slightly enlarged lymph node but no PET activity so Dr. Reddy is happy with the progress. I have to say - so am I!

Plan at this point is to do the bone marrow biopsy next week and then if all clear start with radiation.

Day 89 and feeling ... kind of fine

2006-11-01T16:13:00.000-05:00

89 days since transplant. WOW! First set of scans are on Monday - not sleeping trying not to think about it too much. Who am I kidding I am STRESSING!
Seems like God is putting people in my path lately that can share some of these worries with me. It is very funny for the first part of my illness I didn't know anyone my age going through the same thing. Now - over the course of the last month I have met 2 young women who are both in the midst of cancer treatment. In addition I met a really great guy at the transplant clinic who keeps me laughing (i know you are reading this Shawn so don't let your head get too big)! It's funny how you meet the people you need exactly when you need them.

Bad news - more cancer in my family

2006-10-30T16:19:00.000-05:00

My papa has been diagnosed with lung cancer. It is amazing how much harder it is to think about someone you love going through cancer than it is yourself. He is such an amazing man and I am devestated for my family and my Nana.
Please keep him in your prayers.

Email - Checking in on day 81+

2006-10-24T14:43:00.000-04:00

I hope this note finds you and your families happy and healthy preparing for what I am sure is going to be a hectic holiday season.

Thought I would send a quick note and check in with you all. Since I have been back at work I have been able to catch up with a few of you. It is great to be back in the working world and out of the house. I am feeling better everyday and counting down the days until day 100 (19 days left) when all bets are off and the fun begins! I am also looking forward to my hair growing out so I can have a scarf burning party.

I don’t have much to report on the health front. I met with my Dr today and have my 1st set of scans on 11/6. Once we have the results from those scans we will do one of 2 things. 1 – If the scans are clear I will start 28 days of radiation. This is no big deal, 15 mins a day for 28 days. It doesn’t hurt and there are no weird side effects. 2- If the scans show some irregularities then we go back to the drawing board. My doctors and I are positive things will continue heading in a positive direction so, no worries.

On a serious note my grandfather has been diagnosed with lung cancer so if you would all please keep him in your prayers as he begins this journey I would appreciate it.

If I haven’t said it enough – thanks to each of you for your constant support,
Becca

Day 80 - Life...right around the corner

2006-10-23T17:44:00.000-04:00

So today is 80 days since my transplant and I can honestly say.....I knew I would make it, it just felt like I wouldn't everyday for the last 80 days. Although my mind is has caught up, minus the few 'chemo brain' moments my body is not being as thoughtful. I am looking into begining some rehab via pilates over the next couple months to regain my pre-cancer strength and figure (who am I kidding right?).
I am trying to keep tabs on all my transplant buddies. Everyone seems to be experiencing the same 'my body is a daily science experiment' tribulations as I am so that is fun to chat about. I have also met a new friend, Sandra who is 24 and just relapsed Hodgkin's. She is about to enter mobilization and our instant bond has been healing for us both. It has really helped me to watch her and keep my perspective on how far 80 days really is and I think seeing me at 80 days is helping her see the end of the road (at least I hope).
That is all for now...hope this finds you all happy and healthy.

Day 68...Back to work....seemed like a good idea

2006-10-11T16:18:00.000-04:00

I am not doing a good job at being 'work girl' and 'sick girl'. I feel fine so the stay clear of life orders are hard to stick to. I am doing my best but have to admit - I have stopped being the good patient. Don't tell!
Updated picture of me and my roommate (aka: my sister)

Day 62 and back to life...back to reality

2006-10-05T09:54:00.000-04:00

So today is day 62 (since my transplant). I am feeling good! I started back to work this week and the adjustment back into 'normal' life is mentally a nice break from the world of sickness. I am slowly trying to find my place back here but it all seems so much less important.
I am having trouble turning my brain off now that I am in survivorship mode. I think it is beacuse last time I started to live life again is when it all hit the fan for the second time. I am just trying to hang on, enjoy life and keep reassuring everyone around me that I FEEL FINE!!!!

Email: The finish line (Day 40+)

2006-09-13T18:53:00.000-04:00

I am sorry I have been out of touch for so long. Thank you for all the calls and emails, I am sorry that many of them went unanswered but I am just getting back to the ‘real world’. Today is day 40 and I am finally feeling much better and getting my energy back. I also have some good news to share with you all. Today I had the lines removed from my chest and next Monday the 18th I will be dismissed from the transplant clinic back to my regular oncologist. They have also given me the all clear to go back to work at the office the first week in October. I will still have to be conscious of being around big crowds and can’t go out and about until day 100 but a slow return is better than isolation!

I hope you are all doing well and I can’t wait to see each of you.
Becca

Email: I'm Free! (Day 17+)

2006-08-21T12:45:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to let you all know that I am out of the hospital and on the mend. I still to get I still go to the clinic for 6 hours everyday for fluids and to make sure my system is rebuilding itself. So far so good except I can’t seem to start eating and drinking on my own. I know that is hard for many of you to believe, I myself have a hard time imagining myself not being able to eat but it is true J. Today is day +17 (17 days since my transplant) and everyday I feel a bit better. All of your emails and calls are amazing as you might imagine I am really BORED but super excited that football season is here something new to watch on TV J.

Email: Released on Good Behavior (Day 11+)

2006-08-15T11:53:00.000-04:00

Today is day +11, which means it has been 11 days since my transplant. I just met with the Dr. this morning and since I haven’t had a fever in 24 hours and my blood counts are on the mend I will probably go home on Thursday, as long as I stay on my best behavior. Of course getting cleared to go home really means I am cleared to go home and to the clinic everyday BUT it is better than being in the hospital. Around day +20 they will probably let me switch to every other day at the clinic and weekends off! Day +50 (September 22nd) is when I will be able to re-join society! J - not that I am counting.

Thank you guys for your emails and calls, as you can imagine it is hard to keep yourself entertained here.
Can’t wait to see you all!

5 days and counting

2006-08-13T16:55:00.000-04:00

I am still stuck in the hospital because of mouth sores and fever. It is not too bad here. I am on the transplant isolation floor so alot of the people I see everyeday at the clinic are here as well. My mom has been hanging with me during the days, basically we just sit around while they pump different meds into me all day. All and all it is boring but I have my very own pain pump so it is not too bad :)

Email: Hospital Food (Day 7+)

2006-08-11T12:17:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone ~

Just wanted to send you all a quick note and let you know that I am in the hospital. They admitted me on Wednesday 08/08/06 and think I will be here for about
a week. The main reason I am here is because of mouth and throat sores,
which make it almost impossible for me to eat or drink. The good news is
that I am in the hospital and not eating or drinking their food is a blessing
:) I am doing well just sleeping a lot. I haven' t been able to
answer the phone b/c my voice is a little raw at the moment but thanks for all
the calls.

Today is day +7 which means only 43 days left until I get out of the bubble.

Have a great weekend and I will talk to you soon,
Becca

Last Dance...Last Chance for CHEMO

2006-08-02T20:00:00.000-04:00

Just had to write a note and put the following out into the universe. Today, August 2nd 2006 is the LAST DAY my body will every see any chemo! I am so excited and ready for the transplant!

My Ultimate Chemo Playlist

2006-07-28T21:49:00.000-04:00

So – since I have nothing but time on my hands at the moment I thought I would share my Ultimate Chemo playlist with you all. I like to listen to this when getting ready for chemo and during the infusion. Even before I was sick music always served as such an inspiration for my life. I can listen to certain songs and they take me right back to a feeling or time I may have forgotten.

Gotta Get Thru This – Daniel Benningfield
First of all the title of the song is so appropriate. Second of all, this song brings back memories from what I thought would be my last chemo during my first round of cancer. My little sister came up to help me through my last chemo and at one point did an IV pole dance to this song. As you can imagine it was HILARIOUS and being that many times I am one of the youngest patients in the treatment centers the older patients had quite a look on their faces. It is a memory I will cherish forever and to this day makes me laugh.

Out Of My Hands – Dave Matthews Band
First and foremost this is by my favorite artist. I know many of you make find DMB a little cheesy but I can assure you my love affair with this band began before they were cool. Once they became so popular it was too late, I was in love. This song again appropriate alone for the title is a good reminder for me that control is an illusion which I think is one of the biggest lessons that cancer can teach.

Bitter Sweet Symphony – The Verve
The beginning of this song always stirs emotions inside, sometimes a few chill bumps. Life truly is bitter sweet many times. Cancer is no different. It made me clean up, own up and take responsibilities for things I had avoided. Without I would also have not met many of the people that I now can’t imagine my life without. Cindy – my chemo nurse, from the moment we met I knew my life had been blessed. Bill and Sandy – Bill and I were in treatment together during my first round of chemo. I met them when Bill put on a nasty old wig to try and make me smile. I can’t imagine my life without any of them.

Life in Slow Motion – David Gray
This song and album titled “Life in Slow Motion” came out when I was sick the first time and I think I wore a hole in it. First of all it serves as a soundtrack for my cancer experience complete with a song called “Hospital Food”. Second of all, David Gray is a good old Irishman and who doesn’t love an Irishman? Third the cancer experience has been like that for me, slow motion.

Move Along – All American Rejects
I heard this song on the radio recently and it pumped me up. So now I listen to it as I drive to chemo.

Unwritten – Natasha Benningfield
This song helps me focus on my life after cancer. I reminds me that even though some days it feels like this will never end, that once this is over I have a whole life left to live and it has some much possibility.

100 Years – Five for Fighting
Good reminder of life and how precious it is without being too depressing.

Come Monday – Jimmy Buffet
I find this one particularly ironic as most of my chemo’s start on a Monday. I love Buffet, not only does this song remind me that everyday is a new day but it also lets me dream of Corona’s and Margaritas on the back of a boat somewhere in the middle of the ocean which sounds like a plan to me.

Lady – Lenny Kravitz
Needless to say it is hard to feel sexy when you are bald but no matter where I am or how bald I am this song always makes me feel sexy. I bald girl can dream. J

Today – Smashing Pumpkins
Even though today may not be “the greatest day I’ve ever known” it is another day I have to share with my friends and family the world and for that I am grateful. Plus this song reminds me of so many good times and nights in my life.

Sweetest Thing – U2
Last but not least this song reminds me of how sweet love is and all the possibilities it brings into your life. Everytime I hear this song I am happy!

Email: 07/28/06

2006-07-28T12:15:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to send you all an email before I started the final process of my transplant since I will be out of commission for a bit. My transplant was moved up so I have already started my last round of chemo via pills at home. Monday – Wednesday of next week I will take my high dose chemo, which if I have any say in it will be the LAST chemo this body every sees. Then Friday, August 4^th is T-Day (Transplant Day)! Once I get through the transplant it is just a matter of waiting for my body to engraft and my immune system to start growing back. Sometime between 4 and 10 days after the transplant I will be in the hospital for about a week or two. I don’t want anyone to worry about me – it is completely normal and 95% of transplant patients end up in the hospital for various reasons.

So – I will be in touch and hopefully talk to you soon. I hope you are all doing well.

All my best –

Becca

Stem Cell Transplant Scheduled

2006-07-26T20:39:00.000-04:00

After much to do - my stem cell transplant is offically on the schedule for AUGUST 4th. Last week alone they moved the transplant foward and backwards 4 times. Not because I was sick or could'nt handle it but because of insurance. I told everyone at the transplant center that I wasn't having it! NO WAY not because of insurance. Started making some calls and yelling a bit and totally pulling the CANCER CARD, which as other patients know can come in handy at times. So at 4:30 on Friday I got the call from Aetna and they sent in the approval.
All I could think is that I was going to sit here for a week and do NOTHING. In a moment of tears at the Dr.'s office I was talking to the Mid-level about my fear of not being in treatment and the tumors growing back. She said and I quote "even if the tumors are growing back when we do the transplant the chemo is so harsh they will shrink again". That DID NOT make me feel better. All in all no complaints b/c it is moved and I am happy. I start Busulfan at home tomorrow so pretty much a pill every 2 hours all day thursday thru sunday. Then into high dose chemo (as opposed the AVBD and ICE I already recieved).
By the way in case you didn't know....Cancer Sucks

Email: 07/17/06 & Team in Training

2006-07-17T18:58:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to check in with you guys and give you a quick update. I have been trying to collect my stem cells for the transplant for the last 5 days; it is going a little slower than expected. Tomorrow is my last day of collection and I now head into transplant preparation. Because the stem cell harvesting was a little slower than expected my transplant date was pushed back a bit. I will be having the transplant around August 11th, if all goes well. In the meantime just more doctors appointments.
I also wanted to mention a hero of mine, Lisa Nikolich. Lisa is preparing to run a MARATHON with an organization called Team in Training. For the record previous to this training Lisa was not a runner! She along with other people just like you and me begin training with this organization everyday to help raise money for cancer research. I am honored to team up with Lisa in her effort to help raise money for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. Please see the attached fundraising letter from Lisa or if you would like to donate now please click on the link below, any help you can give is appreciated! http://www.active.com/donate/tntga/tntgaLNIKOLI My hope is that next year you will be making a donation to help my training efforts – by that time I am sure Lisa will be my trainer!

Hair today - Gone tomorrow

2006-07-05T16:08:00.000-04:00

So - I thought I would post a picture of me pre-cancer (aka with hair) funny thing is, I really couldn't find one since it has been over a year. I did find this one of me and my best friend Amanda. It is weird I don't even recognize myself anymore! The other picture is post treatment #1 and is of me and my friend Jenni's kids, Cole and Hannah. Oh to have hair again! Although for me not having hair is not the worst part. It actually makes everything easier b/c when I feel sick I don't have to wash, wax or shave :)

Email: 07/04/06

2006-07-04T20:16:00.000-04:00

Thought I would take a second to wish you all a HAPPY 4TH OF JULY and let you know that I am doing well. Final round of ICE chemo was last week and now I head into the stem cell harvesting part of the plan. At this point the high-dose chemo and transplant is scheduled for July 25-28. All I can say is “ARE WE THERE YET?”.
I miss everyone so much and as you can imagine it is killing me to not be as social as I once was. Hunter (my dog) is getting sick of me and has started to give me looks that quite clearly say “stop talking to me, I am a dog”. I am also quite sure that my sister is faking business trips just to get away from me. JUST KIDDING! Luckily I don’t miss everyone at work too much since I am so fondly reminded of you while watching the past seasons of THE OFFICE that you provided for my viewing pleasure on my Ipod. I don’t think I have laughed so much in years….what a funny show.

On a quick side note many of you have asked about platelet donation. We did meet with the donation center last week and all of you willing locals will be called in to help out when possible. You will be receiving an email with donation details from a Laura Lee Jonas, platelet donation coordinator extraordinaire, in the next week or two.

Enough rambling – hope you are all well.
Have a safe and happy 4th!

- Becca

Art as therapy

2006-07-03T23:06:00.000-04:00

This picture has always been a favorite of mine. For awhlie it hung next to my bed and while I was sick I would stare at it for hours. I am not sure if it is the color orange that was used or the serenity of the woman. I find peace whenever I look at it.

Not really sure why I felt like sharing this. I suppose I feel like sharing bits of me alot lately. I have a need to say things out loud I have never said before. Maybe it is just a need to clear out some space in my head for other things.

My Puppy and Me!

2006-07-02T16:43:00.000-04:00

This is my puppy Hunter.
Ok - I know he is a poodle but come on, he is so freaking cute. I did give him a butchy name to help toughen him up - so the other dogs wouldn't pick on him. I love him so much sometimes it is hard for me to imagine how much people with kids love thier kids b/c I don't think I could love anyone more.

My journey with Hodgkins Lymphoma

2006-07-01T18:30:00.000-04:00

My journey with cancer began when I was 19 and my little sister was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma at the age of 14. Time stopped for my family as she began her year long battle with cancer. I remember vividly telling people that is was so strange how cancer hits. One day everything is “normal” and the next day everything you think about revolves around cancer. You don’t get any warnings you can’t prepare and yet nothing in your life or your families’ life will ever be the same.

It was much the same for me when I found out about my cancer. It began with my yearly company paid physical. My boss and I scheduled our physicals at the same time so that we would actually go. I had never felt better, I was working out and preparing for a 3 week vacation in Europe, I was healthy. A few days after the physical I got a call saying that there was something strange showing on my chest x-ray and that I should go have a CT. The doctor said “you are young, I am sure it is nothing but you should have it checked”. So I didn’t worry, scheduled the CT and didn’t give it much thought. About an hour after the CT I got a call saying that there was something there that I should have it checked. What followed were a few doctor’s appointments with different specialist trying to figure out what “it” was they were seeing in my chest. No one really thought it was cancer and everyone dismissed the fact that my sister had had Hodgkin’s. Every doctor we met with was sure that it wouldn’t be Hodgkin’s because doesn’t run in families. Everything culminated in surgery to biopsy the mass. On June 28th, 2005 as I woke from surgery the doctor said “I am sorry, looks like cancer – Hodgkin’s lymphoma”. All I could think was are you kidding me….here we go again.

They say if you are going to get cancer Hodgkin’s lymphoma is the kind to get which is one of the weirdest statements you will ever hear. Approximately 8,000 people in the US are diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma every year so it is not a common cancer. It is extremely curable and they have treated it for years with high success rates. It has about and 90% cure rate which compared to most cancers is really high. Funnily enough you start to feel lucky that your diagnosis is Hodgkin’s.

Soon after surgery they brought Dr. Reddy to my room – he would become my oncologist. A very young, good looking, kind natured man who I would come to trust with my medical journey. The first decision he needed to help me make was, CAN I GO ON MY VACATION? Looking back I am sure he thought I was a nut. Here I am 28, diagnosed with cancer and more worried about going to Ireland than discussing upcoming treatment. I did end up going on a shortened version of my 3 week vacation and toured Ireland with friends. To this day I am very happy that I had that chance to go and have a little fun and try out the Guinness cure for cancer, which by the way doesn’t work.

Upon my arrival back in the states I began 6 months of chemotherapy. After staging my disease they decided that I was stage 2A which meant I had no real symptoms (night sweats, weight loss, itching, etc) and the tumors were only in 2 locations both above my abdomen.

AVBD is the acronym for the type of chemo I received. For 4 hours every other week I would receive this lovely elixir from July to December. It is hard to describe how chemo makes you feel and what the experience is like in general. I believe that is because in reality you don’t want anyone to know how awful it is. The physical pain is bad, that is a given. You feel sick, you feel tired and your body becomes a science experiment. The environment is strange, or at least it was for me, you are sickest you have ever been you are the sickest person most people close to you know but there are people all around you who are way sicker than you are. Your life is consumed with the illness what you can eat, what your body can do, where you can go. You may want to take a break but you can’t escape the impact.

I finished my 6 months of chemo and was declared in remission by my doctor the first week of 2006. How sweet it was to start the year off with a clean bill of health. I felt so blessed that I had fought this disease and won in less than a year!

I went for my first set of check up scans in April of 2006. I knew that every 3 months for the next 2 years I would have scans to check and make sure everything was ok. Unfortunately, during my first set of scans the cancer was back. There was a 5% chance that the cancer would return and somehow I won that lottery. Since it came back so soon after remission we had some choices to make regarding treatment. It was a roller coaster of research and decisions. What you learn pretty quickly is that as a patient you have to be your own advocate and ask the right questions. So we met with more doctors and decided that I would use a combination of chemo, stem cell transplant and radiation.

So right now I am smack dab in the middle of what we are referring to as CANCER PART DEUX. I am about to have my transplant and then will move on to radiation. This time we used a chemo called ICE – sounds like a nice summer treatment but as you might imagine it was even worse than the first round of chemo. Hard to imagine but true.

The most amazing thing for my about having cancer was that at some point I was actually thankful for the experience and the lessons that cancer was teaching me. It made me look at my life from a different direction and with clarity I had never had. I had more questions and doubts than ever before but something just shifted and I was seeing things with a gratefulness I never experienced.

One of the most life changing experiences I will ever have was the outpouring of support. I have said to many people that I hope at least once in their life they are able to experience what it feels like to receive the gift of seeing how loved and cared about you actually are. I had so many cards, emails, phone calls and support in general. I am not sure most people know how loved they are, to feel it fills you with such love

All in all - I try to remember each day that it is just cancer. I look around and realize that everyone faces their own challenges each and everyday. Mine are no easier or worse just mine.

Email: 06/12/06

2006-06-12T12:18:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to check in and let you all know that I am doing well. Last week’s chemo was rough – I guess I was such a good patient (ha, ha) on Wednesday I earned myself a private room. Needless to say I owed the nurses a few apologies on Thursday. I am sure that is hard for most of you to imagine J. Anyways – my next chemo, last chemo before transplant, will be on 7/28. Until then lots of testing and doctors appointments. As always thanks for all the calls, emails and cards.

Hope to see you soon!
Have a great week,
Becca

Email: Treatment postponed

2006-05-30T13:08:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to let you all know that my treatment this week has been postponed until next week due to low platelet counts. Obviously I am a little disappointed but it is out of my control. They have given me some medicine to help stimulate red blood cell growth so that should help. This issue is completely normal it happens all the time and in no way should it effect my treatment other than it will take longer than I had hoped.
On a good note I shaved my head this morning, so my pirate look is back just in time for the premier of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie! J

Talk to you all soon –
Becca

Email 05/22/06

2006-05-22T21:35:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to check in with you all and let you know that I am doing well. I appreciate all of the phone calls and emails. I am sorry that I haven’t been able to speak with most of you. Today has been the first day that I can put together a coherent thought and I have been spending most of my time up until now drugged and asleep (try not to be jealous). I assure you that I am doing well just really tired and ready for this to be over already.

I promise to be in touch soon –
Becca

Treatment Plan Email for Chemo Part 2

2006-05-02T16:47:00.000-04:00

Ok –
So let me start off by saying I really appreciate all the calls and concern. We just finalized the treatment plan today and I just thought that instead of calling everyone and explaining it a million times it would be easier to type it up.
The plan this time is to use a combination of chemotherapy, stem cell transplant and radiation. The stem cell transplant it is the new way to do what many of you would know as a bone marrow transplant. The good news is that I will be using my own stem cells so I don’t need to look for a donor. Many of you have offered and I am so thankful for that – even though I don’t need it there might be someone else out there who does so if you’re interested in finding out more about the registration process go to this site. http://www.marrow.org/ (ok enough with the public service announcement.)

I will begin chemo on Tuesday, May 16th. This new chemo is administered over a 3 day period. I am going to have 3 cycles of chemo so my dates are; May 16-18 and May 30 – June 1
Then scans and lots of tests the week of June 5th to ensure it is working.
If all is well…chemo again on June 13-15
Then drugs to get my stem cells out and about June 19th – 23rd
Then harvesting stem cells June 26th – 28th (these dates will move depending on my levels/lab work)
First couple weeks of July some high dose chemo and then the stem cell transplant
Then for about 30 days I will got to the Dr. everyday to ensure I that don’t get sick since my body will be trying to re-establish my immune system
Then a break and probably Aug-Sept 28 days of radiation.

So – that is the plan. Sounds like fun huh?

I plan on beating this again so no worries…I know with your help and my kick butt attitude we will do this again!

xoxo – Becca

Chemo Part 1 Last Email

2006-01-03T12:38:00.000-05:00

So….IT’S OVER!

I just got back from meeting with my Dr. and I got a CANCER FREE bill of health! What a great way to kick of 2006. I now go into monitoring mode and will see the Dr. for scans every 3 months for the next 2 years.

I can’t tell you how excited and blessed I feel to be moving forward from this experience. I want you each to know how much I appreciated your support and concern. I feel so blessed to have had so many people behind me and I know that without you this would have been such a different experience. I am moving forward with such a different view of my life and my place in the world. Although, I don’t know that I would have chosen this path for myself, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have learned so much about myself and I know that this awareness is such a blessing that will change my life forever.

As I move past this trial I leave many close friends who will still be fighting this disease. One in particular has forever changed who I am and I know that I would not have been able to move through this without him. My friend Bill Langford will still be fighting his cancer with a smile and a laugh. Please add him to your prayer list. He is currently a part of a study at MD Anderson and is awaiting word on whether or not he will be receiving experimental radiation. We want him on that list!

Thanks again to each of you for everything, you will never know how much it has meant to me.

Rebecca

Chemo Part 1 Email: 4 down 8 to go

2005-08-31T10:38:00.000-04:00

Chemo #4 went a little different than the others, I was pretty sick while getting the chemo but I made it through. Ran some fevers last night but, I am up and around today.
I will have another CT and PET scan next Tuesday to check the effect the chemo has had on the tumors so far. I have no doubt that the chemo is doing its job and we will get good news next week.

I really do appreciate all your emails, cards and calls. The support is unbelievable and it makes everything a little easier knowing you’ve got great people on your side.

XOXO –
Rebecca